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If that is not the case and your relationship has not been a safe space and you have felt generally unhappy than it is time to seek help. He never climbed things never wanted to try it monkey bars , never wanted to make friends. When we are down, due to one aspect of our life not working well, we seem to see everything from a position of deprivation and hopelessness. She nor I know why? It took me seven years to understand that at this stage of his life he likes being by himself a lot. The safety nook where I turn back to. The Prophet (SAW) has taught us the best of deeds are those that done consistently, even if they are small. @Tashanna, actually the best brief point is like what you said "but the wordings are wrong". At this stage, she cannot rationalise his actions as being a brain disorder or compulsive or addictive behaviour, which it most likely is and stems from a lot of underlying emotional or psychological issues. I must must remember only He is my Friend and only He will give my heart satisfaction. One thing I am exploring is the effect of what you eat on your mental health. I was able to relate to it in many ways. Loving Muslim Marriage Episode 10#: Do Angels Curse the Wife Who Refuses Sex? At this stage, emerges the strong sense of failure; she begins to blame herself, wondering had she been more attractive or sassy, she could have prevented the entire thing. I am not against technology, but I request you all to use it for Good, to spread the message of Allah, when you need to, and not be enslaved to it your whole life. You get it as soon as you’re born. Whatever the nature, theres a place for them Alhamdulillah. Constantly reliving the trauma can be like picking the scab- you have to leave that work for the therapy room. You might have lost all self-esteem and confidence in yourself or you might not feel attracted to your spouse due to the knowledge of his addictive behaviour, but the truth is, once you make the decision to work on the relationship you will Insha’Allah start separating him from his issue. What will be the data rate/range on this setup? This site uses Akismet to reduce spam. It felt so achingly lonely, such a visible failure from what it means to be a happy child with a golden, joyful mainstream childhood. But you must take me to the park when there is no one there. When I set my expectations for gratification on my husband, my family, my career, my mothering skills, my children, anything or anyone but Him, I am bound to be disappointed and so I am. He’s okay. It’s heartbreaking because I remember him being the life of his class the guy everyone called to hang out with or to do homework with. That he is speaking, it amazes me. Then I would like to explore in detail the wife’s perspective, strategies to regain confidence, self-esteem building and how to move forward. Thanks for contributing an answer to Islam Stack Exchange! “Allah is your Friend, Betu,” I say softly back, speaking as much to him as myself. In the early days, every time we were in a public space, I would watch…sometimes wistfully, sometimes jealously, sometimes, even (unfairly) downright angrily, at all the other kids playing together. Your email address will not be published. I don’t have an answer for you but I do have our own journey to share: When Beta was three or four years old, we were in the throes of diagnoses and delays and despair and du’as and the desperate desire to “FIX MY SON SOMEHOW”. But there’s something else I now know that I didn’t know earlier and I learned it almost by mistake… They can reclaim their sexuality and learn how to gradually bring back a healthy sex life to the marriage. It is crucial to do the research and find appropriate help both for the addict and for the partner. Then Beta turned seven. ( He didn’t know how many ) he said whenever all the kids were busy doing something I would secretly climb and come back down!