"Breathe, man! The first one's on the house. The good, the bad, and the covered in powdered milk. And while there's certainly a place in every amateur comedian's routine for a few groaners—we're looking at you, dad jokes—these clean jokes manage to walk that delicate line between jokes that stay on the right side of PG and ones that will actually make you laugh. How do mountains stay warm in the winter? Kanye West Congratulates Kim K On Becoming A Billionaire In The Weirdest, Memes That Make Working In Food Service Only Slightly More Tolerable, Memes That Only Baristas Will Find Relatable, People Reveal The Greatest Comeback To An Insult That They’ve Ever Heard, Girlfriend Quits Her Job Because She Fully Believes She Is A Cat Trapped In A Human’s Body, Teachers And Students Share Their Best "Forgot To Turn Off The Mic" Story During Virtual Learning, For details on Gateway Blend's privacy and cookie policies, please visit our. Antibiotics and insulin aside, laughter is undeniably the best medicine. A study says these are the chances they want to roam. How does a dog stop a video? However, while many of us have repertoires chock-full of raunchy jokes perfect for cracking up our college pals, there are numerous times when a more delicate, clean joke is needed—like when you're trying to win over that new boss or elicit a laugh from your grandma. Why does Humpty Dumpty love autumn? How does a farmer mend his overalls? The grasshopper replies, "Who names a drink 'Steve?'". Never mind, it really stinks. Ten tickles. I went into a store to buy some books about turtles. Is this pool safe for diving? Ten-tickles. It's easier than you think to send those pests packing. One is really heavy, the other's a little lighter. The quack of down. "And they have little heads, too.". The charge? You can make most places safer very easily. What did the big flower say to the little flower? What time does a duck wake up? Hope you enjoy! Some people eat snails. She whispers, "They're right behind you!". To hear these total groaners! Attempted murder. © 2020 Galvanized Media. What is the best day to go to the beach? Hi bud! However, while many of us have repertoires chock-full of raunchy jokes perfect for cracking up our college pals, there are numerous times when a more delicate, clean joke is needed—like when you're trying to win over that new boss or elicit a laugh from your grandma. The man apologizes and whispers, "I'd like a hamburger, please.". These totally PG jokes are good for a laugh anytime. i wanted to make a better one but school work & procrastination aren’t a great combo. Yes. Which rock group has four guys who can't sing or play instruments? Below are 48 of the best clean jokes. What happens to a frog's car when it breaks down? It deep ends. asked the shopkeeper. Mount Rushmore. What do you get when you pour root beer into a square cup? No. The bartender says, "We don't serve your type here.". What's the difference between a hippo and a Zippo? sorry this is so short and bad. My teachers told me I'd never amount to much because I procrastinate so much. All Rights Reserved. Antibiotics and insulin aside, laughter is undeniably the best medicine. Why is no one friends with Dracula? It's julienned cabbage in a creamy dressing. How does NASA organize a party?They planet. A meowntain. How many tickles does it take to get an octopus to laugh? I saw a movie about how ships are put together. Come to think of it, I see why. So I had to put my foot down. Why did the chicken cross the road? I told them, "Just you wait! A man walks into a library and orders a hamburger. Use a ruler. What did the green grape say to the purple grape? The next time you've got an audience to impress, these funny clean jokes are sure to have everyone cracking up. Why were they called the Dark Ages? People think "icy" is the easiest word to spell. Beer. You look flushed. Have you heard the one about the skunk? Enter your email address to get the best tips and advice. His face lit up when he opened it. Then it hit me. Want to hear a roof joke? A group of crows was arrested for hanging out together. It's always windy in a sports area. Breathe!". Anything that can go wrong will go wrong. A man walks into a library and asks the librarian for books about paranoia. Pop. Police advise citizens to look out for a group of hardened criminals. I couldn't figure out why the baseball kept getting bigger. Because he's a pain in the neck. Why was the tomato red? Hailing taxis! Why did the taxi driver get fired? Check them out! A little plaque. Need a wicked short joke to tell that anybody can hear? The bartender says, "We have a drink named after you!" This … ", Comic Sans walks into a bar. What does the world's top dentist get? It gets toad away. Live smarter, look better,​ and live your life to the absolute fullest. They must not like fast food. The librarian says, "This is a library." "Nothing. It was riveting. What did the nose say to the finger? What's the easiest way to get straight As? Please subscribe Instagram: @izak.richards See you next week! Spysquirrel. Why don't koalas count as bears? A grasshopper sits down at a bar. I used to be addicted to not showering. Go straight for the juggler. Just follow the fresh prints. A cement mixer and a prison bus crashed on the highway. Snowcaps. It just waved.". Have you heard about Murphy's Law? Luckily, I've been clean for five years. All those fans. "Hardbacks?" Quit picking on me. The Meat Ball! Here is a new video for all of you guys! What do you call a pile of kittens? "Yes," I replied. Passengers didn't like it when she went the extra mile. i do not own any of these vines. Short and sweet. Because he always has a great fall. What is worse than raining cats and dogs? What's a balloon's least favorite type of music? Because there were lots of knights. With cabbage patches. How about Cole's Law? To discover more amazing secrets about living your best life, click here to sign up for our FREE daily newsletter! What should you do if you're attacked by a group of clowns? Because he saw the salad dressing. What did one toilet say to the other? Sunday, of course! How many tickles does it take to make an Octopus laugh? Bestlifeonline.com is part of the Meredith Health Group. For when you want to elicit more than a polite chuckle. The White House just advised new safety measures here. The substance is becoming increasingly popular. Where do hamburgers take their sweethearts on Valentine's Day to dance? My wife told me I had to stop acting like a flamingo. History's crème de la crème of agency-produced comedy. How do you look for Will Smith in the snow? "What did one ocean say to the other?" They don't have the right koalafications. I got my husband a fridge for his birthday. When levity strikes in movies that have very few laughs. By hitting the paws button!